Something about ..

Peace upon the readers,

It has been a long time since i blog something tho. In the time i was gone for a while in this insane world i had done a lot of thinking. So much of thinking just made me feel so helpless in helping myself. This is not good.

Well, i don't expect people to read this but this is about how a flesh a meat that pumps those oxygen carrier through our body feels like theres a crack in it's flow and the flesh itself start to feel like dying. This is just too emo for the kind of people like me.

I believe there is happiness but between all of those things in this world we could not get everything. For example, you can only ever achieve 2/3 of what you want. If you want fame you could get wealth but not happiness and if you want to be happy you could not simply have all such as looks and other thing that you dream of.

So what i am telling here is that i am not even any near to 2/3 of what i am saying. I am grateful with what i have but as a normal human being it is normal to have that feeling to have someone that love you the way you are even though you had done mistakes to them.I hate this feelings SOOO FUCKING MUCH!.

I have this problem when everytime i try to talk to someone and they are staring at me in the face ready to listen to whatever that i am going to say and suddenly another person came and talk to them and the person trying to listen to what i am saying just forgot i am there. Oblivion. I fucking hate that. I dont want to be remembered but i just wish that i am not forgotten.

Yeah, i am fucking emo tonight.

I am sorry for all the harsh word i wrote.
That is all for now. Peace out.

Dejavu in a dream feels real

I am sure that most of us had a terrible relationship before. Some end up because of the fault of one side that felt the relationship is not worth anymore or there is no love in it. My story is not far from the fact that i wrote. But never mind that.

So, during the phase where we kinda had this shitty moments where being single is ok and "Forever Alone" terms is the best phrase that suits us. To be honest, that moments suck! seeing others happy is just a pain in the eye but sadly that is the truth. It sure makes us wonder why did we ever screw the relationship. The biggest ego steps in and surely trying to cover up the wrongs of our doings. Fucking screw that!

At the first place we should had been trying harder to save the relationship we build soo long and it just took a while only to destroy it. But since those heart breaking tormenting moments had pass by just let it be and move on with your life and i am sure during that time you will be having hard time to not thinking of that person. Haha not helping rite?. There will be no joy in all corner. If there is , there is no meaning of life without hardships after all.

Past few month i had this dreams of the person i use to be with. We spoke, we laugh and do the things we stopped doing till now. But it stops when i woke up. It is killing the inside of me very well. I never wanted to dream or having any sort of communication but it keep on coming with all those sweet memories. It kills me though. To be honest, i appreciate the moment we had and will try my best to find what did triggered those good memories just to move on.

People, we hate each other because we did something wrong. What if the wrong part can be permanently avoided and we continue the journey of happiness.  Aint gonna happen aite ? haha supposedly that way i guess....

Well, i am sure there will be more of this. But i am not going to like it.

What i do when i'm bored

 So i have been sorting some files in my laptop cause THEY ARE A MESS ! haha :p and somehow i found one of the video i edited out last time when i had my semester break. It's a video of my friend lips miming or something like that or you could say singing of a song called " havoc ".

That song was a hit during that time and out of boredom all of us suddenly planning on making some videos and i recorded it during that time. It sure gave me a smile when i watch that video again and again cause all of them there even the one not in the video are considered as my family.

 They always make plans and stick together to do anything, it sure is fun tho :)

Hope you enjoy the video :D

Letter from your son.

Dear father,

 Today is 23rd of April. Which only have one meaning to me. It is your 53rd birthday J . Sincerely I have problem with memorizing people’s birthday including you but thankfully my sister had told me earlier before midnight. The night of your birthday. With this hard to memorizing problem I had, I felt as if I had failed to be good son. It might seem nothing but to me your birthday should be celebrated not only today but every day. I am grateful that god gave me chance to keep on breathing and still have the chance to talk to you and spend my time with you.

But lately I have not spent most of my time with you. For some teenagers reason parts of me just wanted to hang out with my friend and some of it with my family. We might spend some time eating and chatting in front of the tv or well most of the time just watching tv in silent. I never think those were the kind of quality time with you I seek. Deep in my heart I truly wanted you to stop working and me myself give all of what I have for you to spend. Give you all what you ever dream of what you wanted to have. 

Going on a vacation together was the kind of quality time that I can ever think of. I wish we could do more than that. You tried to give some advice sometimes but us, your children sometimes rebel against you and tried to give our own opinion. But every time you gave me those advices I will try and keep on hold to it. 

With everything that you gave to me, I never think that I can ever repay it with any kind of price in any form. It sickens me to think of one day that you will be gone and I might not have the chance to see you again. I am sure that I will never be ready for that day. There is always a pain in my chest that scares of that day. My eyes feels heavy as in I am about to cry as I am writing this letter right now. But in sha Allah :’) I will try my best in my best effort I will try to be a solleh(Good) son that you hope I would be.

I might not be as good as you expected but with god will. I will pray hard that I will be and for you I will always pray jannah(heaven) for you. I don’t know how to show how deep I feel towards my family but I will try in many ways so you and the others will understand what am I trying to tell.

I always wish the best for you dad. If you ever read this letter I wrote I just hope you know that I love you. Happy birthday dad.

-Airaz-

Fun thing

  Busy busy busy, well i have been quite busy lately with the event that had happened at my institution. SOMEHOW, i was selected to be one of the photographer during the Open Day that day. I did not expect to get that kind of of opportunity for myself tho :') it sure make me feel more ermm... trustable and responsible haha.
  Never the less, my job was done without any problem except for the tiring effect after the work is done pfffttt. But i should not complain about it cause i do love taking picture and freeze the happy memory into a single picture for us to look back. Sounds dull but that is me :p

  So there is a few picture that i have taken during that day,

The good thing about taking picture is that i get to go anywhere and everywhere. But some of the shots does not seems to be in the way of how i imagine it to be.

Actually, i also have passion in doing videos but its all about the gadget aite? what is the use of loving to do something that you do not have ? it is just frustrating... hmmm

who cares about that, as long as i have the passion i will go for it and scavenge all the opportunity that i can get.

" Passion is the fuel and i will burn to make it brighter so everyone can see how deep and passionate i am "
 -A-

I am guessing that i am talking something non-sense again i guess. haha :)

well,

i guess thats for now. Peace out.

Lift up the burden

 It has been a while since i last blog. The thing is, for last week i had been sick for the whole week. To make it worst that week is my final exam week which means i have got to study 24/7 but i end up busying myself sleeping, coughing, sneezing and etc all the time. I just hope that my results does not drop.

                                                                    * Finger Cross *

 What am i doing haha, i have god. As long as i pray and keep up with the good work hopefully he will lead me to success. Praise upon him Allah the Almighty.

 Never the less, i kept on living and continue my life for that week and SURVIVED it . Yeay haha and the best part of finishing the whole week with all of those exams is went back home and rest for the whole day. I slept like i never slept before that day and woke up super late. The feeling of satisfaction was beyond my body haha what i mean is its like in the morning you woke up and stretch your body so that is how i felt. Awesome aite.

 That sunday 6th March, i went for a ride with my best buddy fitri. It was awesome ! why awesome ? because every first sunday for each month Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia have this event where some of the road in Kuala Lumpur is closed for people to cycle.It also include people that wanted to go for jogging, roller blading and other form of vehicle type that does not use engine. I really appreciate those movement on doing those kind of event because that is just my thing haha. For all foreigner, all of you are invited to join this kind of activity here in Kuala Lumpur we welcome you people :) and if you people are planning on coming to hang out in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia feel free to invite me too. Who know that we can be friends.

Picture of that morning

Anddd recently i was thinking about making a youtube video. Should i ?

Thats all for now. Peace out.

Live Your Life While You Can But Don't Forget God

  Readers, Peace Upon You. So for last week something had happened to me. I mean something had happened to me and my hommies. What exactly happened ? "someone" starts a plan which take place at our usual coffee place. The plan is actually to go hiking at Puchong to find this Blue Lagoon place which all of us had heard that the place were superbly awesome. Go search for "Puchong Blue Lagoon" for more info. So our journey starts tomorrow afternoon which supposedly to be in the morning but so much for our "Malay promises" that the journey starts late. 

  We arrived there between 1.00-1.30pm and the plan had to be on hold because one of the car that my friend drove got lost and came late at that place but nevermind that. So the official time we start our journey was around 2pm. Then later on, we start hiking. I can say the hills to the entrance of the blue lagoon was really really tiring. One of my friend actually fainted because of her present physical at that time. Well i'm not surprised why she fainted tho haha. I'm such a terrible friend. But no worries i did help her as much as i could and after a while we continued the journey and found our self at a junction which lead us to a restriction place and a normal trail. 

   Base on the information that we gathered we had to go through the restriction place to get to blue lagoon and that is when the suffocation starts. So the trail had been chosen so we go in. The first thing in my mind is how far that place is because that forest is literally A Forest. I can't say it's just like our backyard forest or something that but this is the real deal. With limited mineral water supply and line to call others we just jump right in into the place that we don't even know what to expect. 

  For the first 2 hours all of us were confident with the trail but hopes were crumble when the sky starts to darken a little and drinking supply depleting slowly. Most of us were exhausted as if we were walking non stop for an unknown number of kilometers but positive thinking is the only things that keep us walking. 1 hour later we decided that we are lost and some of us think that walking back was the only best option but the slope and surface going back was almost impossible for some of us to go back. This had made me think about god over and over again of what will happened to me and what if i died in that forest and my sins were not forgiven and a lots of other things too.

  That moment had made me think deep on how precious life is and how bad we had been in this world. As a human, god give life for a reason so we can worship him and be kind to others. During the journey all of us never take care of our manners in the jungle. Disrespect the livings in the forest was a bad choice. Maybe that had made us walk for hours without any sense of direction or end. God might also test us during that time so we endure it with patient as much as we could so we walk and walk without stop.

 Praise to Allah that our misery had stop to an end when we suddenly found someone walking at the open walking trail. I forgot to mention all of us were so unprepared we walk in that jungle for 4-5 hours using slippers haha.

  Later after we had reach to where we park our car, all of us directly went to the nearest supermarket and buy drinks for every and each of us. The time that we had that water the feeling of gratefulness was beyond words. All of us rest for a while and laugh at what we had gone through. It was scary and enjoyable experience at that time. 

  When everyone is ready to go back , one of us suggest to go for a swim to a swimming pool at Damansara later. So all of us went. It's quite far but by the time when all of us arrived there we just can't wait to get into the pool. The feeling when i deep my body into the pool was relaxing. The place also have a sauna place which makes us feel even better after a verrrryyyy cold dip into the pool.

  When all of those activities had been done all of us straight away went back home and let me tell you, for the next day i woke super late and the experience that i had the day before was like never happened.

There is a video and some picture of us during that day :) enjoy

I guess thats all for now. Peace Out.